


This Feature is Currently in Development

by GayandFortunate



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Artificial Intelligence, Atlas CEO Rhys, Bandit king Vaughn, I mean it can be read as romance, Jack has an existential crisis- the fic, M/M, Pettiness, Vault hunting Fiona and Sasha, he deals with it Poorly, or just like weird platonic life partners
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-08 08:26:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18890866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GayandFortunate/pseuds/GayandFortunate
Summary: Rhys would like to say he’s a nice person, maybe not good, but he’s nice! He forgave Vaughn for the deal with Vasquez- fake or not, and he forgave Yvette when she sold their asses out.He’s not sure he can forgive Jack, but leaving him potentially forever trapped in an empty nothingness makes Rhys feel… not nice. So he’s trying to fix that, don’t judge him!





	1. Awake

**Author's Note:**

> Sup m8s! It's been a while since I've written, but this fandom has been forcefully resuscitated and then had a horrible pornstache slapped on it so Here We Are.
> 
> Heads up, kiddos there is one (1) suicide joke this chapter, in case you need fair warning.

It’s…. dark, when Jack thinks he wakes up. He goes to reach for the light on his bedside table and pauses when he’s left with the sinking feeling that he doesn’t have any arms.

_Well, shit._ He thinks, and tries to get a grasp of his current state of being. So, it’s dark, and he doesn’t even seem to have his holo-bod since Rhys pulled out hi- _Rhys…_ Oh that little shit was going to wish his mum had swallowed. 

Suddenly though, it’s like words appear bright and clear, practically burned into his eyes.

‘That’s not a very nice way 2 greet someone’

Jack tries to blink and to look around but yup, still hitting a solid ‘zero’ on the physical form scale. _So who the frick is this loser?_

The voice responds, 

‘Oh’  
‘Oh crap, right. No eyes or anything…’  
‘it’s uh, the guy u were wishing wasn’t born?’

Jack would be snarling if he could- oooohohoho, he’d be _raging_ but the thing about snarling is you need teeth, and a voice, and preferably also some toned legs you can use to launch yourself at the miserable little dipshit who’s ruined your life.

Jack has zero of these things, so he settles for next best- he thinks, really, really hard about all the creative and wonderful techniques he’ll use to rip Rhys apart when he gets out of here.

‘Ok ok I get it ur mad’

_Ur mad._ God, Jack is gonna love just going to town on this skag shit’s neck for burning his shitty typing into his (not) eyeballs.

‘It’s faster okay? It’s not like I can think and then, poof- full sentences!’

Jack works really hard on conveying how much he gives a shit about that with his thoughts. 

* * *

It not until what’s possibly been 10 minutes or 10 weeks later that Jack finally breaks the standoff and engages. 

**Hey asshole, how long has it been?**

The response is almost immediate- the 10 minute theory is gaining traction.

‘Uh since what?’

He’s pretty sure Rhys knows how dumb he sounds right now, because he’s quick to backtrack and actually fork over the info. 

‘It’s been two years’

Phew… okay, yeah. Jack can process that later when his non-existent head isn’t spinning. 

**And you’re now… what? Hoping to rekindle our bromance?**

‘I’m’  
‘Well I’m trying to figure that out’

There’s another weighty pause before Rhys sends another searingly bright message.

‘Were u um -awake- after I pulled u out?’

Jack considers blanking Rhys after this kid's very tactlessly brought up how he murdered the older man, but Jack’s never been one for silence.

**Yea I’ve been fully conscious for two whole years and somehow didn’t find a way to code some kind of noose to hang myself with.**  

He doesn’t think it’s important to mention he lacks a neck these days.

‘Har har very funny’

A pause

‘Look, I’m sorry ok? I felt bad just leaving u to I don’t know’  
‘Exist in limbo forever?’  
‘Potentially conscious?’

**So why didn’t you destroy that eye then?**

Rhys is the one to drop the conversation this time.

* * *

Jack doesn’t bring the eye up again after that, and neither does Rhys, content to tiptoe this strange line they’ve drawn in the sand.

**So let me get this straight- you _stole Atlas from me?_**

‘I mean yeeeeeah?’

Well, Jack wouldn’t say he’s surprised. Little shit always did remind him of himself…

**Oh this is rich! Well go on, cupcake. Tell me all about it.**

‘R u being sarcastic or do u actually wanna kno?’

**Ugh kiddo, your typing is somehow getting worse. You’re killing me here!  
** **‘Course I’m serious you dummy. I’m actually like, kinda impressed. It’s what I’d do.**

‘Cut the crap, Jack’  
‘And 4 ur information Atlas is getting some good work done’

**Ooo colour me impressed, champ. Maybe lemme out of whatever toaster oven piece of hot garbage you’ve shoved me into so I can show you my awestruck expression.**

‘Hahahaha - yeah no way, bro’  
‘Ur under house arrest or whatever this is’

House arrest, ey? Well, Jack would just have to work with what he can claw from the situation then.

**How about a mic and speakers, huh? Means you can rest your weary lil fingers, and more importantly I won’t have to put up with your piss poor typing.**

There’s a long enough pause that Jack starts to get twitchy- thinks maybe Rhys has gone and dropped the conversation again. He hates how Rhys has the option to just, ugh… Run off! As if that little dweeb can ditch him. 

Before he can really start metaphorically clawing at the walls of his cage, Rhys responds.

‘I’ll think about it’

**Ah come ON. I’d say I’ve been a delight, Rhysie- so how about you return the favour?**

‘Am I going 2 need to remind u of the multiple death threats and attempts on my life since we met?’

Oh that was _it_ , Jack was going to make good on those threats. Rhys has the audacity to use ‘2’ and ‘to’ interchangeably _in the same sentence._ There’s being a sloppy typist, and there’s just plain inconsistency- surely the kid is doing it to fuck with him at this point? 

Before he can get onto that though- a body. A sexy, definitely corporeal, body.  
 

* * *

Time kind of blends a bit after that, it’s easier to guesstimate time when Rhys is typing, and Jack is embarrassed to even entertain the thought. That he’s pleased Rhys seems to almost constantly be in contact. 

Rhys informs him he’s been uploaded onto some old retro filing system- Jack would bet money that asshole dug it out of a literal trash pile. Huh, kind of a good metaphor for his life right now. 

**Hey cupcake!**

 

**Pumpkin!**

 

**HEY! Rhysie, where the hell are you???**

Rhys was literally here a second ago, Jack is like, 78% sure of that! Sighing to himself, Jack lets his mind drift a bit while trying to test whether time really works the same in his current state. He counts until Rhys finally gets back- 1,383 seconds later.

‘Hey, sorry bandits’

**Yeahyeahyeah, how long were you gone?**

‘Uh, like 20 minutes, I said I was sorry. there- there were bandits, Jack!’

**NO way. I counted and it was like 23, I’m frickin’ certain.**

‘You’ve been’  
‘Sitting around’  
‘Counting?’

**Can’t sit when you don’t have an ass, princess.**

‘Disturbing thought but ok’

There’s a long enough pause to give Jack the impression Rhys is thinking on something. He’s just about to call Rhys out on the lag time his idiot brain is exhibiting when the younger finally responds.

‘I could reinstall the clock if u want’

Jack takes his time responding, no need to come off eager, right? Besides, he’s hoping to push for something a little more.

**If you’re reeeeally sorry about ditching me to go flail at bandit scum, you could always reinstall the clock _and_ the calendar.**

‘Uh, I was gonna do that anyway‘

**And a mic**

He can practically hear Rhys’ frustrated sigh, and soon a clock is installed. Which means, rather helpfully, that Jack _knows_ it’s been 12 minutes and 41 seconds before he finally gets another message.

‘If I do this’  
‘Do u promise not to yell?’

**Speakers too? Awww you do care, Rhysie!**

Heh, kiddo’s still waaaay too easy to play.

‘Dammit Jack, do u promise not to be a dick about this?’  
‘Just this 1 time’

**Totally, scouts honour. Seriously I’d do the hand sign thingie but you know, still no hands.**

It’s another 3 minutes and 20 seconds before there’s a crackle, an actual crackle _sound_. Even without a body, Jack feels something electric and exciting along with it.  
He’s not sure how he’s going to talk without a mouth. The thought he might not be able to keeps him quiet for now, like if he just doesn’t talk it won’t ever be confirmed he _can’t_ , he’s a regular Schrödinger's cat.

“…Jack?”

Uuuuuugh how did he live without freaking sound- that’s the good shit. Jack just basks in it for a minute, while Rhys grumbles to himself and begins fiddling about with something that sounds blunt and metallic. Obviously under the impression the set up hasn’t worked. The clacking of whatever Rhys is working on, along with his quiet huffing surprisingly leave Jack with enough courage to give this whole ‘sound without a mouth thing’ a go. 

He tries just a sigh first, and is immensely pleased when a soft sound leaves him as if he had lungs. 

Before he can think of anything particularly scathing to yell at Rhys, there’s a loud clatter of something being dropped and Jack hears him swear quietly under his breath- Jack decides it’s time to make his newly acquired voice known.

“Language, pumpkin.”

Whatever Rhys was trying to salvage tumbles to the floor with a thud.

* * *

Rhys would like to say he’s a nice person, maybe not good, but he’s nice! He forgave Vaughn for the deal with Vasquez- fake or not, and he forgave Yvette when she sold their asses out.  
He’s not sure he can forgive Jack, but leaving him potentially forever trapped in an empty nothingness makes Rhys feel… not nice. So he’s trying to fix that, don’t judge him!

Hooking Jack’s AI up to something that can’t cause trouble is the easy part. The Atlas bio-dome may still be in good shape, but that doesn’t mean the rest of Pandora isn’t a convenient trash heap. Plenty of scrap out there and it’s barely a week of close calls with the local bandits and wildlife before Rhys finds a suitable shell for the ghost of Handsome Jack.

It’s convincing his friends that this is the right move that’s proving to be difficult. 

They’re understandably cautious. If calling Rhys a goddamned idiot and pelting him with rotten fruit can count as that. Rhys is wiping the last globs of drakefruit from his cheek by the time Vaughn moves over to stand beside him.

“Bro, from what you said, Jack did some pretty crazy things up on Helios and I can’t exactly say I’m surprised, man…” Vaughn pauses to sigh and take a moment to think his words over. He leans against Rhys’s shoulder in support before trying again.

“Jack tried to kill you, dude.”

Rhys nods, ‘cause yeah- fair point. 

“Yvette tried to kill me too, you know. Both of us, actually,” he looks down at Vaughn and doesn’t comment on the shorter guy wincing. 

“Okay yeah, but- but she explained herself! And we’ve known Yvette for years, bro. Jack is… kinda an unknown, even when he was alive. Can we even say that _this_ Jack’s really alive? That he’s-”Vaughn makes a face at this, “conscious or whatever right now?”

Rhys rubs at his face and tries not to groan in frustration, “no I don’t know if he’s ‘awake’ or whatever we want to call it. But we can’t just leave someone like that right? Even if they’re a massive asshole.”

“Asshole is being generous, Rhys!” 

They both look up at Sasha striding over with murder on her face, Fiona keeping up but looking mercifully just Extremely Disappointed. 

“That maniac tried to kill every single one of us and you just want to, what? Give him a free pass?” Sasha pokes at Rhys’s chest, and Fiona adds her two cents.

“He’d definitely turn on us the first chance he gets, you dope.”

To give him credit where credit’s due, Rhys sits there quietly and lets them all pile their opinions on for a good few minutes before the sound level gets a bit too furious, leaving him to dramatically wave his arms around a bit and go pace. It puts some distance between himself and the group, at least for now.

“Look I get it guys, I get all of it. Jack is crazy and he’s going to want to kill us all and most likely wear us as skin suits-gross- and he’s not going to thank me for doing this but-” 

Fiona snorts, “really selling it there, Rhys.”

“ _BUT_ if Jack really is conscious right now… then that’s like suuuper horrible, guys. Like, horror movie horrible,” he looks to the group for some kind of empathy on that and isn’t really shocked when there is none.  
Sasha must be feeling a little charitable though, because she sighs and goes to lay a hand on Rhys’s shoulder.

“Is this what’s been eating you up? That he’s awake in there and it’s your fault?” he flinches at that, so it’s really all the answer she needs. She looks back to Fiona and searches her face for something to say- anything to get this beanpole looking less like a kicked puppy. It’s Vaughn who finally pipes up.

“Is there uh- any way to do this _without_ plugging a psychopath into your head?”

Rhys perks at that and turns back to them, “I was never gonna do that, bro. I’m not crazy! I was- I mean… he’s a program, so I thought I could find something to keep him in. You know, nothing he could use to hurt us.”

The group all raise an eyebrow at this, but it’s Fiona that decides to call him out, “you mean you _found_ something to keep him in, and you’ve probably already got it half set up. Am I right?”

“heh- er, maaaybe?” 

There’s a collective groan from the gang.

“Yeah okay I found something, but I promise I was never going to plug Jack in without talking to you guys first. You know I wouldn’t do that, right?” Rhys looks at the other three beseechingly.

Sasha’s lip quirks up just a notch, she’s obviously not happy but… “yeah, yeah we trust you, you idiot.”

Rhys smiles winningly at the support.

“So you guys are okay if I try… whatever this is?”

Vaughn, Fiona, and Sasha share a look. There’s a tense moment where Rhys thinks they might veto the idea before Fiona nods, “just don’t get us killed, Rhys. Any of us” she looks to him in emphasis and it’s clear she’s still worried he’ll do something stupid if it’s just him on the line.

“I won’t,” Rhys’s promise is quiet, but certain. 


	2. Sound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhys is awfully pleased with himself when he manages to install the first playlist. He wouldn’t dare tell Jack, but it’s a personal one of his.  
> The AI seems to enjoy it mostly without comment, and soon Rhys realises he’s going to have to provide more options or go mad listening to the same 20 songs on repeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No warnings this time, pals.  
> Also I'm gonna try and marathon post this baby, because I need a hobby right now, folks.  
> Thanks for the feedback as always!

Rhys decided early on it was better to keep Jack away from the actual facility- even if the man couldn’t interact with other tech. There was definitely some disapproval, but Jack was being surprisingly cordial with his newly reacquired abilities of communication.  
That didn’t stop the AI from trying to shove his nose into any and all affairs of both Rhys, and his company, with zero tact.

The Vault comes up sooner than Rhys would like. He comes home one evening to find Gortys and Jack in deep conversation, which is… not something the younger man ever thought he’d see.  
Gortys has of course, told Jack everything she’s seen by now. Rhys catches the tail end of their conversation- Gortys triumphantly wielding a badass, giant-robot broadsword against The Traveller.

“Hooooly crap, basketball. That’s some high-grade, strike fear into your enemies kind of shit” Jack exclaims, while Rhys pales in the doorway and considers all his life choices. 

“It was soooooo cool, Mr Jim, sir! Rhys was like ‘Game Over’ and POW, we cut it in half!- Oh, hi Rhys!” 

Gortys waves enthusiastically over at him, aaand there goes his shot of quietly slinking away to consider his predicament. 

“H-heeey, Gortys. How’d you get in here?”

“The door!”

Well, this is what Rhys gets for giving basically all his inner circle unrestricted access to his living room, or ‘The Jack Cave’ as they’ve been referring to it. For safety reasons, of course- in case he does something really stupid like put Jack back in his head. 

Jack decides it’s best to ignore the ‘Jim’ comment, it’s not John at least, and he’s pretty resigned to the little bowling ball never learning. 

“Sup kiddo, I was just hearing all about how you and your little bandit crew managed to crack open a _Vault_. Wanna clue me in to why you didn’t fill your old pal Jack in on this choice info?”

Rhys groans and as nicely as possible, shoos Gortys from the room for what is undoubtably going to be A Talk.

“…I was going to tell you. Eventually. Probably,” he tries not to sweat into his nice suit jacket during the silence that follows.

“Bull. Shit.” 

“Oh come on, Jack. What was I supposed to tell you? ‘Guess what, bro- I opened a Vault and there was _nothing_ in it’. Yeah, real claim to fame right there,” Rhys grumbles as he goes to sit in front of Jacks unit.

“First of all, not your ‘bro’, eugh super gross. Second, whaddya’ mean nothing?” 

Jack may not have a face right now, but Rhys gets the distinct impression he’s trying to come off nonchalant.  
It’s absolutely not working and he can feel the tension in the room spiking the longer he draws his silence out.

“Just… nothing. Me and Fiona went in, opened this- this box thing and then…” 

“And theeeeeeeeen?” Jack presses.

“And then it’s like we were back where we started. At the entrance of the Vault, I mean. The gate was dead as a doornail- couldn’t get back in, and neither me or Fi knew what the hell had happened.”

“Wow. So you’re telling me that not only did your pathetic ass,”

“Hey!”

“Not only did your _pathetic ass_ manage to open a Vault, but you have no idea what you got out of it? Nada?” 

Rhys frowns and fiddles with the ridges of his cybernetic arm, “I know what I got from it. ‘It’ just happened to be- iunno, musty old Eridian air.”

“I’m still calling bullshit. You got something out of that Vault, kiddo. You’re either lying to me about what, or you’re too dumb to see it yet. Honestly it says a lot about you that I’m assuming the latter.”

Charming. 

“Look, just don’t ask about it, okay? It’s kinda a sore spot for me and Fi. If I really do figure out that I got something out of it, I’ll tell you myself.”

Jack huffs of course, but it seems he’s willing to play the long game with this issue.  
 

* * *

   
The Vault becomes another thing on the growing list of stuff they just Don’t Mention, for now at least. Though that doesn’t stop the older man from finding other ways to pry into Rhys’s life outside their shared space.  
He’s moved on to asking about Atlas, and while Rhys would love to keep that away from Jack’s grubby little digital hands too, the guy seems almost starved for some kind of project or distraction.  
Rhys decides there’s… probably no harm in sharing this with Jack.

So while Rhys would love to say he’s finally done with work for the day, what he really discovers is that he’s finished with work _at the facility,_ and is now sitting around in his own living room, hunched over a weapon prototype making frustrated noises, with Jack providing a helpful running commentary.

“So you’re saying you just tag some nasty with this tracker thing- and the bullets will follow that?” 

“Mhmm”

“Kiddo that’s… that’s pretty sexy.”

“Ew, don’t call my guns sexy- that’s gross,” Rhys tosses a scrunched up ball of paper at Jack’s unit in protest, “besides, it’s in early development right now. Integrating the tech with a weapon is easy but-”

“But let me guess, it’s unwieldy as all shit, right?”

Rhys huffs out a frustrated breath, and Jack’s got his answer.

“Yeah, I’m trying to work on what can be stripped down or slimlined, but eeeh. There’s only so much I know about guns… Sasha’s been giving me a hand, but even she wouldn’t really call herself a professional so…”

“Sooo…?”

Rhys scowls, even if Jack can’t see it, “so, I’m doing the best I can. Now shush.”

“Ugh- look cupcake, I get that Atlas is working the whole ‘grassroots’ schtick right now, but you’ve at least got _some_ specialists, right?”

“Well, yes and no.”

“Oh this is gonna be good…”

“Hey! Atlas has specialists they’re just… more tech, less ‘boom’” the younger man rubs the back of his neck self-consciously as he looks back to the prototype.

“Riiight, ’less boom’, real eloquent there, dumb-dumb.”

“If you’re not gonna be constructive, I’m turning your audio systems off.”

“Hey, hey nah! Be cool kitten, I got this! Atlas at least has some cash to it’s name now, yeah?”

Rhys nods at that, before remembering - no eyes, duh, “We’re doing alright, yeah. Plenty of old patents we’ve brought back into production,” he sighs dreamily at this, “Atlas really does make the best coffee machines”

Jack groans rather obscenely at that, “oh man, I’d kill for a coffee right now- like, I’m not joking I’d actually kill you, pumpkin.”

“Right, kind of insulted you’re gonna zero in on me as a sacrifice for your blood-coffee, and I _am_ going to switch your audio off if you don’t get to your damn point.”

“Okayokayokay- what I was _trying_ to say is you’ve got cash, kitten- just hire a damn team!”

“Where am I going to find a-”

“Rhysie, it’s Pandora. They marry their freaking guns down here! Sure, they’re also all psycho bandits and tooootally gonna betray you, but you’re not really in a position to be picky right now, Mr. Atlas.” 

“I… I’ll talk to Sasha and Fi about it, see if they’ve got any contacts. I’m sure they’re not all… crazy… wait.”

“Wait what, nerd?”

Rhys eyes sparkle at his own revelation and he leans in towards the mic with excitement, “Vaughn’s leading a group of survivors from the Helios crash, I might be able to find some _actual_ specialists!”

“Uuuh, you mean poach _my_ specialists-”

Rhys shushes at Jack and pulls up his holo-display to call Vaughn. The shorter man looks tired, but happy to see Rhys when he picks up.

“Bro? Hey, what’s up. It’s uh- like 3 in the morning.”

Oof, yeah Rhys should have definitely checked the time before dialling his BFF in a frenzy, “Er, right. Sorry bro, I just had the best idea though and I-”

“Don’t listen to him, short stack! It was my idea!” Jack yells from his unit.

“O-oh uh… hi… Jack,”  


Double oof, okay Rhys also should have definitely remembered that Vaughn hasn’t directly interacted with Jack yet. There’s seeing Jack’s and his little ‘chat-log’, as well as popping the occasional message in, and then there’s actually _talking_ to the man for the first time.

Jack doesn’t pay the greeting any mind, “Yeah so, don’t give Rhysie shit! You hear me me, dweeb? He’s trying to thieve _my_ peons, and if you give him even one name I’ll take out your goddamned teeth!” 

“Uh… I, uh…” oh bless, Vaughn really is reminding Rhys of when he first spoke to Jack way back when. He should probably put a stop to this though.

“Right, Jack, I’m turning your audio off for a bit. We’ll talk later,” Rhys can barely hear himself finish his sentence over Jack’s screeched protests, and the silence left in Jack’s wake is strange. Rhys wouldn’t exactly say he misses the yelling, but it’s probably not great that he’s readjusted so well to having a murderous AI hurl abuse at him…

“Vaughn bro, I promise Jack isn’t going to do that he just get’s… antsy.”

Vaughn raises a static-y eyebrow through the Echo feed, “Uh-huh. So your… or Jack’s great idea?”

“Right, right. So, the survivors from Helios- were any of them in the R&D departments? Especially weapons based.”

“Wait, are you thinking abut hiring _ex-Hyperion_ staff for Atlas?”

“Well, yeah? You and I were Hyperion, bro. And the Children of Helios stiiiiill kind of worship me,” Rhys’s grin is downright goofy at that. Yeah, still feels pretty good.

“I mean, that might help… but they’re kind of into being freed from their corporate shackles, man. You think they’re gonna want to come back to an organisation like Atlas?”

“Hey- Atlas isn’t like Hyperion. We’re, you know…”

“Tiny?”

“Rude,” Rhys raises his nose haughtily, “we’re exclusive.”

Vaughn looks thoughtful on the other end of the line, and Rhys can only hope he’s managed to persuade the shorter man to offer support.

“Look, I’ll talk to them. But forreal, bro they might not bite and I can’t make them go-”

“Thankyouthankyouthankyoooou- ugh, Vaughn I love you bro,” Rhys leans in to smooch at the holographic face of his best bud. Vaughn can only sigh and smile at the big idiot. It’s lucky Rhys is so likeable- like a puppy. Not that he’s going to tell Rhys that. Ever. 

“Alright, alright- love you too, bro. Now let me go to sleep. I’ll go do some grovelling for you tomorrow. Or well, today… yeah I’m gonna go sleep now,” Vaughn makes sure to punctuate his point with a yawn.

“Yeah, ‘course. Sorry, bro. Sleep well, I’ll call you later?”

“Mhmm, night Rhys,” the call cuts out and Rhys sighs softly to himself. Right, sleep.  


* * *

  
It’s probably not good that after 3 hours of sleep, a full day in the office, and about 10 coffees that Rhys somehow feels Pretty Great. But when you’re used to a full week of all-nighters with nothing but power naps on the executive fold-out couch, you learn to take what you can get.

When Rhys finally gets back to his room that night, it’s with the intention to update Jack on his plans and maybe get another solid 3 hours of snoozin’ in.

“Jack, I’m back,” he calls into the room while working on undoing his tie. It’s not until he’s halfway out of his shirt that he remembers he turned the damn audio system off…

“Shit!” 

Rhys scrabbles over to the unit and reconnects the cables for audio input and output. The moment he hears the first crackle of connection, Jack is quick to make his feelings known.

“YOU ABSOLUTE DOUCHEBAG,” the volume is so loud that Rhys has to cover his ears and wince.

“What? Think you can just switch your old pal Jack off whenever you want??? What am I, a freaking furby?!” 

“Jack I-”

“NAH NAH NAH- you shut it, princess! I’ve been sitting around for 20. _Freaking_. Hours. While you’ve been off doing hell knows what. You know what I’ve been doing, Rhysie?”

Rhys frowns at this, “Uh, n-”

“ **I’VE BEEN RIGHT FREAKING HERE. DOING JACK SHIT.** ”

Jack can hear a sympathetic hiss through the connection, and quietly fumes to himself while waiting for an explanation. 

“Jack, I’m sorry,” Rhys goes to sit down in front of Jack’s unit and bites at his lip thoughtfully, “you threatened Vaughn though. He wasn’t going to help me if you kept promising to, uh… well promising not nice things.”

“Tch- says the guy trying to steal _my_ worker bees.”

“Jack, Hyperion is gone… well, as good as gone right now. No one from the Children of Helios is going back.”

“…They seriously sticking with that dumb name?”

Rhys laughs at that and Jack can hear the chair squeak as Rhys curls his legs up under himself to get comfy, “yeah, yeah I think they’ve committed to the weird cult look.” 

“Creepy,” Jack huffs out a static-y sigh, “look, just don’t turn me off like some appliance, capiche?”

“Okay Jack, I got it. Sorry.”

“Yeah whatever, don’t grovel, cupcake. You’ll give me a stiffy.”

Rhys’s disgusted squawk is drowned out by cackling.

Still, as gross and loud as Jack can be, Rhys really does feel bad… He sits there quietly and lets Jack babble for a bit, trying to work out what he can offer to make it up to the older man when it hits him.

“Hey, what about I put some tunes in there?”

Jack pauses in his monologue about the time Moxxi spilled one of her iconic ‘Moxxtails’ on him and he couldn’t get it up for a week… ugh gross, Rhys makes a face before continuing.

“I mean, I doubt this thing could play you a movie, but it’s definitely capable of audio. I could find some music?”

The pause drags out and Rhys seriously starts to worry he’s pissed Jack off, or broken him or something.

“Sorry I guess that kind of cra-”

“No!.. No, kiddo- I’d uh, yeah. That’d be pretty cool.”

The silence stretches a bit after that, but Rhys finds himself smiling softly anyway. Okay, time to go hunt some music files down.  


* * *

  
Rhys is awfully pleased with himself when he manages to install the first playlist. He wouldn’t dare tell Jack, but it’s a personal one of his. The AI seems to enjoy it mostly without comment, and soon Rhys realises he’s going to have to provide more options or go mad listening to the same 20 songs on repeat.

He moves on to gathering songs from people around the facility and finds Cassius has an impressive classical library. Rhys would call it stuffy, if he didn’t need a break from his own tunes.  
Sasha offers him some very questionable metal music, and Fiona brings what can only be described as ‘teenybop’ to the table. The look on her face is enough to stop him from breathing a word of this to anyone else.  
Vaughn sends him some songs, and Rhys smiles to himself at the list, he knows his BFF’s taste like the back of his hand. He sends a thank you message back, along with encouragement to come visit soon, bring Yvette even.

Jack eats up every new addition to his library- though Rhys can practically _hear_ Jack raising an eyebrow when he reaches Fiona’s contributions.

They spend a lot of time just lazing about in the evenings now, listening to music and commenting on their own tastes. Turns out Jack likes country and Rhys is Disgusted. Jack seems to be convinced the teenybop hits are Rhys’s, as much as the younger man vehemently denies it.

Things could almost be considered nice. Domestic.

So of course Jack needs to push.

“Come on, Rhysieeee. Can’t you take me to work with you or something? I’m going crazy here!”

“Jack, we’ve talked about this, I’m not taking you inside the facility. Even if you don’t cause trouble, you’ll distract me.”

“Me? A distraction?” Jack parrots innocently, “well if I’m distracting you, that’s your own fault for being a massive fanboy.”

Rhys makes a face at the older man’s snickering and moves towards the door, “I’ll see you later,Jack.”

“Aw, come oooooooo-’ the rest of Jack’s plea is thankfully cut off by the door.  


* * *

It’s not until lunchtime that this choice comes back to bite him in the ass.  
A member of staff responsible for maintaining the residential parts of the Atlas compound comes running into the middle of Rhys’s meeting with his fledgling R&D department. The woman looks harried and frankly a little manic as she approaches him.

“Sir, a word?”

Rhys would like to think he’s a good boss, maybe even a Great Boss. So he makes sure to take the woman by the arm and gently usher her away from the curious eyes of his team before asking what the _hell_ she’s doing barging in here. 

“S-sir it’s… the apartments, sir. There have been complaints.”

“Complaints?” Rhys frowns, “look, it’s not that I don’t care about the comfort of my employees, but could this wait until after my _very_ important, _very_ above your pay grade meeting?”

“Sir, the entire 5th floor has been evacuated.” 

Rhys takes a deep breath while he processes this. He exhales, and takes the woman’s arm again as he begins to guide her towards the main facilities exit, tossing an apology to the team twiddling their thumbs behind him. 

“Get back to work, we’ll reschedule for tomorrow.”

As they approach the residential area of the compound, Rhys begins to see the problem. 

Well, hear the problem.

It’s muffled from out here, but the fact he can hear it at all from this distance is worrying… Fiona’s teenybop. Rhys growls under his breath and gestures at the woman to remain here as he stomps towards the flats.

It only gets worse as he travels closer to the 5th floor, _his_ floor. By the time he’s at the door to his apartment Rhys’s teeth are rattling from the perky vocals of whatever girl group this is.

“JACK,” oh god he can’t even hear himself over the music, “JACK SHUT IT OFF!”

Rhys yanks open the door and has to keep his hands over his ears as he approaches the speaker system. Glasses have already begun to vibrate so much they’ve fallen off the cabinet across the room and shattered. Greeeeat. 

“JACK, QUIT IT.”

Nothing, Rhys honestly doesn’t know if the AI can hear him right now or if the audio has blown the mic out. Only one thing to do then.  
He tears at the cables connecting the speakers until _finally_ the damn audio cuts. 

Rhys practically sobs in relief, “Jack, can you hear me?” 

The screen lights up almost immediately - **No duh. What took you so long?**

The younger man hisses at the unit, “what took _me_ so long? What the fuck were you doing, Jack?!”

**Huh, pretty ungrateful of you. Thought that was your favourite song, princess!**

“M- _my_??????” 

Rhys tugs at his own hair furiously and considers pouring water over the unit. Would that be murder?

“Jaaaack,” he groans, “I’m pretty sure everyone who lives in this building is going to be, at a minimum, temporarily deaf- what the _fuck_ are you playing at?”

**Language, princess- and what am I playing at? Cupcake, _you’re_ the one that ditched me to go play big bad CEO!**

“So you decided to, what? Punish everyone here, _not just me,_ because you can’t follow me to work?”

Before Jack can fire back a response, Fiona and Sasha both burst into the room looking ready for a fight.

“Rhys, you’re okay!”

He looks up at them, relived to have some support when dealing with this man-child, “Sasha, Fi- I’m okay. Jack’s just being an absolute dick.”

They both look at the unit curiously. They knew it was set up in here, of course. Rhys has kept his promise to fill them in on all matters ‘Jack’ these days, but that didn’t mean either of the girls wanted to be anywhere near it.

Sasha snorts out a short laugh and speaks first, “so _he_ was the one partying to ‘top 10 hits - as chosen by a 9 year old girl’?”

The screen flashes with another comment from Jack, **Hey Rhysie’s got some good taste. Am I right?**

Rhys whines pathetically, “oh come on, Jack! I told you that’s not my music, blame Fion-” Rhys pales as he sees Fiona scowl bloody murder at him from over Sasha’s shoulder, “aaaaaanyway! It doesn’t matter who’s music it is, right guys?”

Smooth.

**Hah, HAHA oh this is amazing. Hat-babe, you… you got some top notch taste here. Thanks for ratting on your friend, Rhysie!**

Rhys hides his face in his hands while Sasha tries her best to muffle her own giggles and stop Fiona from throttling him.  
Fine. Jack wants to be petty? Rhys can be petty. 

“Alright, Jack. You want to come to work with me? I’ll fix you up something- gimme a day.”


	3. Crash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The younger man gently lays the little bot down on the floor when they reach the safety of his private office, “right! You’re free to go, Jack-o” Rhys sing-songs.
> 
> ‘BEEEEEP beep bopaaa,’ Jack eloquently replies. 
> 
> “Aww, you are just so cute right now,” Rhys coos cheekily. Oh, he knows he’s gonna be fucked over for this later. But for now, he is King.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look man- I'm shallow, and this chapter is why I wrote this damn fic. It could've been a one-shot, but I'm a glutton for punishment.

As promised, tomorrow comes and Rhys is ready for Jack to feel the full consequences of his actions.  
He spends the morning sipping coffee and artfully dodging the AI’s aggressive questioning on how this is gonna work. It’s a whole hour of increasingly childish whining before the younger man puts his plan into effect.

“Right, don’t freak out I’m gonna transfer you now and… I don’t really know how that feels so yeah, here we go,” Rhys makes small, thoughtful noises as he works on connecting the new unit to the old, and he may or may not take his time with it just to let Jack squirm a bit more.  
By the time Jack’s successfully transferred over and realised the limitations of his current form, there’s no clawing his way back.

**‘BEEP!’**

Rhys finally lets out the amused snort he’d been holding back. Ah, sweet revenge he thinks, as he leans down to pet the little roomba in front of him.

“Soooo, whaddya think?”

**‘BEEEEEEP-BOOP BEEP’**

The younger man grins mischievously, “What, you like it? Thought so!”

The roomba begins to make sharp turns around the room in protest while Rhys watches on, basking in his small win before piping up again, “I’m gonna pick you up okay? I’m sure your proximity detector will be just fine for getting around once we’re in the labs, but all the stairs between here and the facility? Not so much.”

‘ **Boop’**

Wow, that’s adorable.

Rhys smiles to himself as he scoops up the roomba in his arms, it continues to beep grouchily, but hey- Jack _asked_ to go to work with him! The CEO is even willing to graciously ignore the stares he gets from his staff as they make their way to the R&D lab, Jack tucked safely against his chest…

* * *

Rhys holds Jack tightly while they traverse the wide halls of the main building. As much as he’d love to watch the AI slide around, he’s also worried someone will step on the bastard. So the roomba is kept close as he makes his way to his own office.

The younger man gently lays the little bot down on the floor when they reach the safety of his private office, “right! You’re free to go, Jack-o” Rhys sing-songs.

‘ **BEEEEEP beep bopaaa,** ’ Jack eloquently replies. 

“Aww, you are just so cute right now,” Rhys coos cheekily. Oh, he knows he’s gonna be fucked over for this later. But for now, he is King.

People definitely _notice_ the roomba puttering about in their CEOs office, but no one comments. Maybe the man just likes to keep his space clean, that’s a good quality in a leader, right?  
They all agree the roomba is Normal and Non-Threatening. This is their mistake.

Each and every one of them is laid low by decisive strikes to their ankles. Mercilessly. 

Rhys could almost let it slide, considering it _is_ pretty hilarious, but it turns out he’s also fair game. After nearly being toppled several times, Rhys builds what can only be described as a baby-cage. 

‘ **BOOP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP,** ’ the little creature screeches. Rhys has no sympathy.

The CEO works valiantly until his already teenybop abused ears can’t take anymore. He decides this might be as good a time as any to take lunch. He’ll be having his rescheduled meeting with R&D straight after, and frankly he needs to reenergise and up his carb intake before he ‘accidentally’ stomps on his small friend. 

Rhys tells Jack as much as he plucks the man out of his prison and walks them to the cafeteria. 

And yeah, okay- seeing your CEO waltz into the communal eating space with a vacuum cleaner under his arm is… something. But not a single Atlas employee can deny that they’re paid well, and it’s only fifteen minutes into their designated lunch hour. No one’s going anywhere. 

Staff watch on as their beloved leader places the vacuum… on the table. The man waggles a finger at it, like a naughty child, and wanders off to grab a plate. 

At this point the room divides. Those who watch The Boss, and those that watch The Vacuum.

The Boss is humming pleasantly to himself while piling his plate high with pasta salad.

The Vacuum is slowly shifting over the expanse of the table, always stopping as it reaches the edge and changing direction.

The Boss engages in some polite conversation with a colleague by the drinks machine.

The Vacuum begins to spin donuts into the cafeteria table.

By the time Rhys has made it back to his seat, there is a black ring where the vacuum has worn down an impressive groove.  
A hush falls over the room as their boss grumbles quietly at the machine and tucks into his food, adamantly ignoring his small companion.

Some turn back to their food. The show is over, the roomba has been acknowledged and everyone will leave it at that. But it becomes apparent to any staff nosy enough to keep staring vacantly at the booth Rhys occupies that the roomba is Not Done.

The hum of the cafeteria is beginning to build back up, and this is just the cover the little bot needs to slowly make it’s way over to Rhy’s plate.  
Maybe someone will warn their leader about what’s going down.  
No, no one is getting up.  
Lucile, a data-miner, looks to their colleagues. Should they do something? _Could_ they do something?

The choice is taken from Lucile when everyone hears startled screaming from the man in question.

A pitiful amount of Rhys’s pasta salad remains unscathed, the rest sucked up into the roomba, who now occupies half the real estate of the plate.  
Jack’s hunger for revenge and pasta salad is quenched for now.

* * *

After the drama at lunch, Rhys’s meeting is even duller than expected. Sure, he knew R&D wouldn’t be all fun and explosions, but the man at least expected some progress on his smartbullet prototypes.  
Instead, the meeting mostly consists of briefings on current domestic appliance releases and advancements to those areas- Atlas still makes the best coffee machines, but now it can _self clean_ , yaaaaay.

And so, Rhys finds himself spending a lot of time just nodding politely and watching roomba-Jack scuttle about the lab floor. He seems to be doing… okay? Occasionally the little thing beeps almost curiously, and it’s definitely trying to look innocent. Like Jack isn’t listening in to this entire meeting.  
Not that Rhys cares, he wouldn’t have brought Jack if he minded him overhearing anything said today.

Conversation remains professional and dull, so Rhys focuses on putting his best game face on to dazzle the team and proceeds to mentally switch off. He may not strike fear into his staff like Jack did, but you catch more flies with honey… also an impressive portion of his staff are now from a faction that thinks he’s a God so, perks. 

He’s sat at the head of the table, listening to the rise and fall of discussion while staying almost blissfully unaware of current goings on when he hears it.

“Oof!”

* * *

Jack could say he was in a pickle. Could be worse, could _definitely_ be better.

He can hear all those pasty little R&D nerds rattling on about logistics with The Big Cheese. But, as he slowly hoovers up dust and who-knows-what, Jack takes time to think back on what has almost been a full day stuck in tiny trash prison. 

Point one- there’s something just a _smiiiidgen_ stomach turning about being able to move about while blind as a freaking bat.  
Really- it’s super thoughtful that the proximity sensor built into this hunk of junk seems to be translating its warnings about incoming objects he might crash into as an unnerving feeling of foreboding. No freaking surprise Jack’s mood is now about as calm and collected as a hornets nest.

Point two, the proximity sensor does fuck all to warn him if someone decides to _pick him up.  
_The first time Rhys lifts him off the ground, not only do Jack’s sensors go freaking loco, but the AI has to spend a solid minute puzzling out if he’s fallen into a pit or something off sound alone. 

Which brings Jack neatly to his last point.  
Any time he thinks he’s starting to get the hang of this weird garbage-bot he’s found himself placed in, Rhysie goes and changes the game. Either by picking him up to take them to some new obstacle course of a room that the AI needs to work out, or just straight up penning him into… whatever the hell he was dumped in.  
Jack’s not really sure what Rhys is using as a makeshift holding cell when he pisses the kid off, but it’s waaaay too small. Like, levels of anxiety are reaching ‘feelings of impending doom’ thanks to those nifty little proximity sensors.

So looking back on his points, Jack has decided punishment is necessary- and if he’s gonna do something, it might as well be now, while the really boring shit is lulling Rhysie into a false sense of security.  
Question is, what do you do when you’re trapped in what is essentially a fancy vacuum cleaner, can’t see shit, and can’t yell obscenities at the room?  
Jack is contemplating this very thing as an opportunity makes itself known.

“Oof!” one of the technicians exclaims, and Jack hears a stack of papers fall to the floor.  
It’s his time to shine, baby! He was made for this!

The determined roomba beelines for the sound of rustling papers at breakneck speed.

“Jack?” he hears Rhysie call questioningly. But it’s too late, Jack has what he wants.

“JAAAACK!?” the kid squawks, and the distinct sound of gangly limbs slapping against the conference table can be heard as Rhys’s Pieces no doubt tries to rescue the situation.

By the time the little doofus has swiped him up off the floor, Jack knows he’s accomplished his mission. The totally manly shriek, along with fingers trying to salvage the paper caught in Jack’s undercarriage -kinky- is evidence enough.

There’s a whooshing sound, like he’s being carried somewhere at a speed, and the finality of a door opening then slamming shut.

“What. The. Fuck,” Rhysie growls. Cute.

‘ **Bleep bop boooo,** ’ Jack beeps back innocently.

* * *

By the time the meeting is actually closed and Rhys can finally curl up somewhere dark and quiet to die, word of his pet nightmare has spread.

Staff watch him warily as he walks back towards his office, and he’s not surprised when Fiona is settled comfortably on his desk as he steps into the room, one ankle rested daintily over the other like she isn’t about to tear him a new one.

“Fi…” Rhys greets stiffly.

“I didn’t realise it was bring a pet to work day, I woulda’ planned better,” she jibes.

The Vault Hunter gives him an appraising look as he bends over to plop Jack on the floor. The bot beeps merrily and makes it’s way toward the general vicinity of the desk.

“Cute,” she comments, “I hear he’s been menacing the public though, what’s up with that?”

“Ugh, he’s just ungrateful after _I let him come to work with me like he wanted_ ,” the last part is scathingly hissed against the roomba’s upper plating.

‘ **Boop!** ’ Jack replies helpfully.

Now, don’t misunderstand. Fiona loves Rhys, he’s like a shit little brother that she never wanted, but got.  
Rhys also currently looks like a level 99 cloudcuckoo-lander.

“Rhys, leave the lil robot alone. It’s evil, but probably doing worse for you than you are for it,” Fi soothes.

He sighs dramatically and gets up off the floor at her encouragement. Pulls himself up so he’s sitting on the desk beside Fiona and out of Jack’s range.

“He’s been an asshole all day, Fi.”

“When’s he not?”

‘ **BEEP** ’

Jack is shushed by them both, and the two lean on each other for support.  
Fiona wraps an arm around his shoulder comfortingly, “so what’d he do, Rhys?”

Rhys scrunches up his face in contempt, “he ate my logistics spreadsheet for moving the smartbullet weapons to beta stage.”

“Damn.”

' **Boop,'**  Jack adds, somehow conveying his lack of remorse. Rhys supposes it’s a tall order to expect some regret from the older man for trashing the next step of Atlas’s weapon development.

Fiona gives one last reassuring squeeze to his shoulder before hopping down off the desk.

“Come on, we’ll plug this terror back into his fax machine of evil and get you a drink, yeah?”

She smiles conspiratorially at him, “we can even go to the public bar- you know you’ll never pay for a drink as long as 50% of new Atlas employees are Children of Helios mooks,” she waggles her eyebrows for emphasis.

Rhys matches her grin as he stands back up and goes to scoop Jack into his arms, before letting Fiona lead him along, “hah, you gonna teach me how to con?”

“Rhys, with marks like this, you won’t need to lift a finger!”

* * *

Jack is weirdly relieved to be back in the old unit. It’s stuffy, sure- but he can sass people. Which he does as Rhys and Fiona hurry back out into the night. He no longer feels the oppressive niggling of the proximity sensors, _and_ he can jam to angry metal music while the aforementioned jerks run off without him again.  
To a bar this time- a bar! Jack loves bars!

Dicks.

Not to mention the AI is honestly surprised Rhysie and Hat-Babe seem to be getting along like a house on fire these days. At least compared to the last time he saw them spend any tangible amount of time together, back in that musty old caravan.  
Kind of assumed the kid would get eaten up by the local populous, literally or figuratively. But here he is, with an Atlas base practically fully staffed and out in the open, somehow not dead and maybe even building connections on the planet?  
Ugh, what is he saying- is he just jealous Rhys is getting to hang with Hat-Babe?

Hm, fine maybe not _just_ Hat-Babe, but Jack doesn’t like to admit weaknesses, and admitting you can’t have something is 100% a weakness in his book.  
Still, no shame in thinking about it- being back to his old self. Having Hyperion back and feeling like the freaking king of this hellhole along with everything in shooting distance.  
Fuck, even just being able to walk to a freaking bar himself, drink so much booze he can’t feel his face- but still absolutely have a face… nice. 

Huh, did he ever really have a face?

Jack tries to frown at the thought, but it is what it is- a memory. He can’t feel the muscles pull, can’t feel the the way the clips of his mask should pinch, and his breath should feel icy cold and he sucks a frustrated breath through gritted teeth.

Even floating around as a hologram he couldn’t feel it. Not really.

He tries to focus on the memory of feeling now, since he’s got time to kill and is absolutely not having a crisis. What did it feel like to fire a gun, to touch Nisha’s hair, to kiss Angel’s cheek?  
He’s not sure anymore.

It feels like Jack’s on the precipice of some all encompassing pit, and he jerks away from this train of thought. Puts it away neatly and labels it as it is, a stupid thought from a guy who really needs to get drunk.

Lucky for him and his sanity, the door to Rhys’s apartment opens with a startling bang. He hears the kid giggling to himself like a complete loser and forces out a chuckle.

“Hey princess, have fun?”

Rhys wobbles over to his desk and slumps into the chair there before slurring back, “Jaaaaaack- holy crap, was it like this when you went out drinking???”

“You’re gonna have to fill me in, cupcake. Remember you left me here in time out,” Jack grouses. 

The younger of the two barks out a laugh at that and leans down till he’s slumped against the table with his face pressed up to the mic, “I’m sorryyyyyyyy. I missed you though, you would have laughed so much.”

Woof, this kid is steaming right now, “Oh yeah? Tell me all about it, puddin’pop.”

Rhys grins to himself and recounts how Fiona was _right_ , the Children of Helios are a mess around him. So much so that one member of staff passed out when he showed up at the bar, and another pissed themselves when Rhys spoke to them.

It was amazing.

“Wow, look at you, kiddo. A regular living legend!” 

Despite the tenseness in Jack’s tone, Rhys breaks into another bout of pleased giggles at the praise, “No, no not like you though, Jack. You would’ve ripped them apart! it was” a hiccup of laugher interrupts him, “ _so_ funny!” 

“Aw pumpkin, your fanboy is showing,” Jack teases, “go to sleep, dumb-dumb. You’re gonna be hurting in the morning.”

“Mhmm, way ahead of you, Jack-o…”

“Wait- Rhysie, I meant in your room not at the damn desk!”


End file.
